Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Ballad of Bruce Wyllis

Come on people and gather round!
A story I have for you.
A tale that may be very sad and grim,
The Ballad of the day Bruce Wyllis said adieu.

A day Oh nice, not unlike today,
A sky of sun and blue.
The goblin raiders happened to attack,
Bruce Wyllis knew what to do.

They battled and fought, thick and thin
But the blimp came down and crashed;
But Bruce, like us, survived the blight;
The blimp, mangled and mashed.

Then not too far, an ambush was placed,
To thwart your favorite dude,
They battled and bashed, their hobgoblin ass
But Bruce, up their ass, he shoved his shoe.

One was left, a pitiful coward that ran,
Bruce, to him he deserved it too
When a bulette came out and swallowed up Bruce;
What's left? A finger between two.

So my friends, don't forget,
The most badass person you could ever know;
We miss him a lot, and wish he was back;
Bruce Wyllis, goddamn, fuck you!


Sophia's player came up with this on the fly at King Norvi's banquet. It was composed in about 10 minutes, but gets the job done!


  1. "A sky of sun and blue"

    "The blimp, mangled and mashed."

    "They battled and bashed, their hobgoblin ass"